Lauren Asked Me To Describe The Plant In My Office Without Saying "Green" Or "Leafy" by DJ Berndt

It stands straight, skinny, and tall. It has many narrow extensions that are long and pointed. It does well in school and excels at sports, but is secretly uncomfortable in social situations. It tells people that it wants to be a doctor, but really wants to be a cement mixer.

DJ Berndt will tell you his darkest secrets if you ask nicely. He blogs here.
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